Moving towards Perspicacity

2005-11-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

Hello again! It has been about two months since I last posted something. Let me give you a brief synopsis:
Ramadhan: It is still amazing to hear the adhan and see the men walk to the masjid with the utmost discipline. Ramadhan was a wonderful routine; we all had designated days to cook dinner for the 'family', were invited at least once a week as someone's dinner guests, woke up to the drum beats and the man calling out in Arabic: "Oh those who are fasting! Say there is no other God but God!" And I'd eat my specially imported Cookie Crisps (thanks Mom!), make ablution, and read Qur'an until the first adhan which was calling for tahajud. Then I'd pray tahajud until fajr, pray fajr, sleep or study, go to school, come home and do my thing until magharib, eat with the 'family', and then we'd all go for taraweh. I must admit that what I missed the most was going to taraweh with my family and praying with the larger Dar Al Taqwa family. Fortunately, I began to recognize many of the people at taraweh, but still, it just wasn't the same :) Ramadhan also brought with it a test and a lesson that insha'Allah I will remember for life. What a truly blessed Ramadhan it was for me to experience.
Eid: I flew to Dubai on Eid and surprised my family with the aid of Afra Abdullah and fam. It was really nice to see my dad and be around family for Eid, I really needed it because Ramadhan was very testing, Alhamdulillah. I had an amazing time but the six days I was there felt like only three as we were all rushing around shopping, catching up, and running errands. Eid day we went to an open prayer area that was filled with sand. We all brought our prayer rugs and laid them side by side. The sensation of making sujud in the sand is incomparable and indiscribable. It made me think that this is what the Prophet (saw) and the companions(ra) must have felt like...
Insh'Allah I'll be going back to Dubai in December before going to Muscat with my dad to spend the rest of my break. I'd love to go to the surrounding countries but I'll have to gauge the political climate before making any definite plans....
As you all know there were three bombings earlier this week in Amman. Alhamdulillah my 'family' here are all ok and home safely. My friends (Jamilah, Hamida, and Tahseen) and I were actually studying at a library near the Hyatt and Radisson but had to leave because it closed at 7p.m. We didn't want to return to our icebox of a home (the heater is fixed now) so we went to La Mirabelle, a cozy cafe next to the UN. Jamilah and I kept noticing ambulances driving by so we made a general du'a that wherever it was going the people were ok, and didn't think too much of it. When we left the cafe Jam noticed she had 7 missed calls, and her father called her and asked if she was ok. Of course she expressed her confusion and said of course i am, why wouldn't I be? He then told her about the bombs that went off in Amman. The third hotel, the Days Inn, is located behind the UN. We jumped in the first available taxi and he drove to the scene of the Days Inn bombing out of curiosity. Jam and I didn't think it was a very clever move but didn't have much say in the situation. The main roads surrounding the hotel were blocked off and scores of police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks lined all the roads. I took a picture with my cell phone but all you can make out of the photo are red, white, and blue blazing lights illuminating the city. All the people around me were solemn and repeating, "Not my Amman..." The events have come as such a shock to all of us living in Amman. My poor, dear family tried to call me but circuits were busy, so busy in fact I couldn't even check my voicemail to hear my mother's concern wondering if I was alright. Khalid finally got through and I let him know that "Alhamdulillah, salama". Thanks to everyone who called me, my family, and emailed me to see if we were ok.
School was obviously cancelled and we were advised not to leave the house or the neighborhood, but if we must, to take our passport with us. In our tiny, quiet neighborhood we saw an army truck filled with soldiers stop at the local stores at the bottom of the hill to question the people and check identification at random. The city is back to normal and everyone is driving around with flags flying and aghals spread on the car hoods and trunks. You will find cars gathering at major roads and roundabouts and driving around singing and honking out of solidarity with their government and those who died. Please read Ya-Sin if you are able. The stories of those who have lost loved ones are aired on the radio and it is disheartening to hear. May God make us among the patient during these times. Ameen.
I don't have any plans to leave Amman, and I ask myself, if i did leave where would I go? The entire world is in chaos; it is impossible to run away from the problems that plague us. Insha'Allah this is an isolated incident and we will all be protected from any harm or any bad news. Love you all, and please keep me in your prayers.

At My Lowest....

2005-09-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2005
No, I did not emotionally or mentally "sink" down into a state of absolute moral abyss. I physically went to the Dead Sea, the lowest point on the face of this earth. The night was pitch black and the silver moon was awesome over the slowly moving water between Palestine and Jordan. From the Jordanian border, I could see the lights of the Palestinian West Bank and just beyond the shore on the top of a mountain I could see the lights of a larger town which I hoped was Jerusalem. I rolled up my jeans and stepped in. To my surprise the water was extremely warm. It was time to taste the water: I dipped the tip of my right index finger into the sea and lifted it to my mouth. I tapped my finger onto my tongue and immediately I began to spit the concentrated salt water out of my mouth. I'm not sure what I was expecting :)
Standing there in Jordan with my feet in the Dead Sea, I was overwhelmed by how close Al Aqsa qas. Maybe it was right there on the horizon, or maybe on top of the hill that lined the shore? Thinking about the Ascension and how I was closest to the masjid than I had ever been in my life was overwhelming and surreal. I cannot imagine the feeling of actually physically going to pray and worship in the Holy land...
The following day, September 12, 2005, we drove along the Dead Sea highway the entire length of the Dead Sea with a flock of white birds escorting us along the way. The radio stations were no longer in Arabic and all we picked up were Israeli channels. It was clear that they were discussing the Gaza pullout that happened the day before.
On our way to Petra, we stop at Karak, the castle where Salahidin defeated the Crusaders because they were using their castle's location to attack, kill, and steal caravans that were on their way to Hajj.
We also stopped to see Shobak; we didn't go inside so I have to read the brochures to remember what that castle was all about!
We finally arrive at the Sofitel (but of course!) in Taybit Zaman. It was a beautiful 5 star hotel built into the side of the mountain that was reminicent of a Bedouin village. That evening, we got picked up by the man who owns and operates a desert resort in Wadi Rum. At first sight, I told my mother that he looked like an Arab Rambo. He was tall, tanned, green eyed, wearing a green, black, and white aghal, and drove a big wheel truck. He was awesome. He took us to the desert and stopped at a Bedouin's family's tent to have tea. I walked the sand dunes and mountains while Mom helped them sew the new extension to their tent. We drove around the desert somemore and then to the camp where there were light little tents and places to literally sleep under the stars. A mountain surrounded three sides of the camp and had tiny caves carved out for lanterns to sit in. After we ate, watched dabke and people playing tablah and flutes, we walked into the desert and sat in the middle of the vast wadi under a 3/4 full moon that lit up the night. The white light shone down and highlighted everything it touched. When I kept very still I could hear it. Listen. And I heard the sand, the mountains, and the steady quiver of the light of the moon.
Needless to say we spent the night in the real Bedouin environment and not the hotel :)

First Impressions

2005-09-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

First impressions are clearly very important, and after being here 12 days, I can't say anything really negative about my experience here so far. The people are very friendly and helpful, Mash'Allah. The weather, which is worth mentioning, is incredible! Very Meditteranean: sunny and breezy :) Fresh fruit grows all over the country, from grapes wrapped around trellises, teen and olive trees stretching over sidewalks, pomegranates ripening in the neighbors garden, and date trees randomly sprouting across the mountainside. The best part is that you just reach up and pick whatever you want, peel it on the spot, and savour (unless it's an olive which is really bitter if it isn't pickled!)
My roomates are really great girls; Alhamdulillah I really lucked out! There is one more roomate which I haven't met but I'm sure she'll be just as cool as the others :)
Placement exam is on Tuesday, 9/20/05. I am really excited to start learning in the classroom and I was told that a thousand words is learned every level, so if I get to level 5 I'll have 5,000 words under my belt and I'd really feel like I'd accomplished something.
I can't wait for Ramadhan, although I have to find a masjid that accomodates women for taraweh...
Mom and I did the whole touristy thing, went to the Dead Sea, Karak, Shobak, Taybit Zaman, Wadi Rum, Petra, Dana Village, and Afra Hot Springs. I will go into detail in another post, Insh'Allah. We also got to do not so "touristy" things like sit and drink tea with Bedouins and help them sew their tent, and sit and drink tea with rural farmers and actually milk my first goat! They took the milk, mixed it with cow milk, boiled it with zatar(oregano) and sugar, and served it hot and fresh. It was amazing! The family gave me a large bottle which I have been boiling everynight to drink with a heaping tablespoon of fresh Jordanian honey before I go to bed.